Thank you, Convocation

Haizz after convocation, it's like waking up from a sweet dream :( back to mundane life but oh well, there should always be special events in life to keep you motivated. throughout our ordinary days.

And it's not right to not pen down this very special day.

Part of me kind felt like convocation shouldn't be a big thing, afterall I have completed my studies months ago, I have already started working. Whatever that is worth celebrating is already in the past. What's the big deal of convo? The only reason why I look forward to convo was just because I get to have two days off work hahahhahahah. But oh well, as pointless as it seems, as tiring as it seems, as superficial as it seems, I am grateful of this day.

On a fine Thursday, woke up in the morning, triple-checked on my robes and invitation card, with flowers and balloons in my hand, my feet on my favorite pair of pumps, head out the house, thinking about meeting my family and friends, thinking about how to not pokai on stage, thinking about the moment. Was all smiles when I met up with my parents at the dimsum building, manage to show them around and took some photos over there. Then it's the ceremony at Nanyang Auditorium, the place where we first had our Freshman Welcome Ceremony, where we wore the academic dress as well. Time really does fly. As if the ambience wasn't enough to bring back memories, there was this graduation video that had tears welled up in my eyes. It was a girl, visiting the many places in NTU and it really struck me that I'm never gonna be sitting in those tutorial rooms anymore, I'm never gonna be listening to all the knowledge from the smart folks and I'm never gonna be hanging out at the canteens with friends. It's never going to be the same...  But oh well after that, the inevitable part of convocation comes: the certificate presentation. God will not let me have an easy day, my pumps decided to stretch its mouth at the very last minute. Was praying hard in my head that my shoes won't fall apart and I will not trip or do anything silly. And just as I imagine, that moment on stage happened in a blur. I can barely remember anything tbh. After that, sorry to my fellow graduates but I really fell asleep haha. When it's finally the end, time to make good use of technology and just grab whoever you know and snap photos.  

Being away from home, I have heavily relied on this bunch of coursemates for a lot of support, both emotionally and intellectually haha. They are the reason why everything is okay, nothing can be bad with them. From sharing tutorial answers to random chats over lunch. Thanks for all the help and company. My life would have been so damn dull without you guys. 

Really hope more good things will happen to this bunch of kind souls. 

Also grateful to have met this junior (along with others who weren't here) in university. Friendly and fun people whom you can share your thoughts with. 

another group of friends whom I had known since the beginning of university. 

The Taiwan Exchange bunch! Though we may not be the closest friends, but I truly am grateful for the memories we shared. Exchange life is something that I'll never forget. 

Winnie the FYP group mate!! Missing Bryan who is enjoying in BKK now. I thought my social circle was pretty much stagnant but these two awesome peeps came into my final year. I really appreciate the conversations that we had, especially all the 交心 ones haha. And so much funny stuff to talk about. It's amazing how we became so close,  hope for the best for both of you!

The MCKL buddy T T 

words cannot express how gamdong I am to have you here. Feel so guilty that I didn't attend yours. But what's more, is realizing how much you have put into our friendship. Thanks for always being the one to jio me out every now and then and also always tolerating with my attitude haha. And of course to Vienna who couldn't make it, thanks for sending your kind wishes! Grateful for our occasional meet-ups in SG, you guys are also support-team! 

Finally of course, the people whose love formed the very foundation of me. Even though there are times where the walls get shaky, there were also times where the walls broke down, but I never lost myself because they will always be a part of my existence. I know I have taken your love for granted. Despite putting studies, work and friends in between us, you guys never gave up to hold me tight. Thanks for staying healthy and safe, thanks for trying to take away all my worries. Studying away from home has really shown me the power of family. Love you all so so much and I cannot imagine how would I survive without you, my Daddy Mummy and Gor. 

Finally, praise the Lord for this wonderful journey. If my family was the foundation, God would probably be the music in me. You can't see it, but you can totally hear it and feel it. Thanks for listening to all my prayers and blessing all the people I care for. Thanks for always assuring me that life is good and there's nothing to fear of. When I was weak, thanks for always finding a way to tell me I'm strong and I have the power to be happy. When I was evil, thanks for encouraging me to be kind. I hope I am living the way you want me to and I promise I will try to be a better person. 

I'm a lucky girl.

You know part of me keep telling myself: "Convo oni maaaaa" "Walao everyone oso got degree larrr, daisaiii arrr" "There's nothing to be proud of." But after convo ended, I went to bed with all the playbacks in my head. It wasn't just about getting yourself a "sand paper", it was a journey that has shaped my perspectives to life and people, an important gift to my very existence. These four years have taught me how to be happy more than the previous 20 years in my life. Whatever external or internal force it may be, there has been constant knocking down of my walls and I'd learnt to pick the pieces up on my own. Building brick by brick with loads of happy and fun memories with the people I met here, decorating with interesting experiences and knowledge about the world. Totally received much more than what I asked for. I'm grateful for this opportunity, and once again, Thank God for making this happen despite the odds.

23-ed

Dedicating this post to the people who made my 23rd Birthday special.

Well I never think that friendship is only real when that person celebrates your birthday, but if they do, you do know that these people do care about you :)

To be plain honest, after four years, you kind of know who stays and who don't. I know it very well that I'm not a very nice person to deal with haha, so wasn't expecting much. On the other hand, I dread birthdays coz my parents will be asking me if there's anyone to celebrate with me and I always had a set of lies in my head to tell them or else it kills me when they start the "it's okay, you still have us" kind of talk. Grateful that I don't have to lie to them coz there's still people who do wanna make my day special woohoo. And many thanks to people who wished me even though I did not put my birth date on FB.

Living on earth for 23 years, not sure if there's any meaning to celebrate but it's a time where I really feel I've grown up. Not sure by how much, but I feel like I can finally accept the fact that I'm an independent adult. Last 2 years, I'm still like a whiney little kid, enjoying college life, outing till late night, join this join that, trying to live a happening and fulfilling life but beneath those was a fear of growing up, fear of the realistic world, fear of a life with uncertainties and the fact that I am going to be alone to face all these. But in the past year, I'm grateful that God has given me so much strength, showed me to awesome people, giving me great experiences. Of course it wasn't all smooth sailing, I've cried a few times, but the falls really do make me stronger and ultimately reminds you that nothing is too bad that you can't live with it. And to add on, I have a loving family who supports me, friends who sends their kind words and give you help when you need it. It's the last birthday in Uni, and graduation is coming soon, if there's any reason to be sad, I guess it will be saying goodbye to this bunch of friends T T Not sure if we're still gonna be as close as we are now, but I'll always treasure the memories we had, every joy you guys gave to me hehe... Thanks people!!

Early Birthday Dinner with the Wonder Girls @The East Bureau, will be doing a review with more photos soon. Great night out with the girls with Real Talk haha. 

It was a joint celebration with our prettiest mummy, who we both have the same birth month. Had a delicious Matcha Tiramisu Cake by Ma Mere Boulangarie@Marina Square. (Can't help but to notice I'm so bald)

In case you didn't notice, it's Off Shoulder kinda day. 

Few days later, this bunch surprised me again on my birthday. Thanks for spending the time to treat me coffee and cakes! Simple things to make me happy. This bunch has been with me for every birthday I had in NTU, feeling grateful to spend the last one with them too. Love you all long time. 

Followed by surprise visit from The Brow, I swear I really didn't expect you all to come (and hence the cui face). You guys must be so busy at this period. and they brought gift summore omgggg...Really appreciate it :) Great doing a short catch up with the bunch. Finals and Job Hunt jiayou arrr!!!!

The must-do, but we're missing Yeucian here :(

Also, special thanks to ShiYien and Kahhoe for the early surprise! Really got heart ler, thanks for taking the time :) Btw it's a MoonBall this year, a continuation from last two year's Pokedex Birthday Card haha. Moon Ball is for Jigglypuff LOL Kinda suit me don't you think, round and loves to sing :) 

Once again, thanks to the bunch and also people who wished me. Not sure what I can do for you guys, but I'm always hoping the best for you all. To my Uni friends especially, hope everyone prepare well for Finals and for the ones on job hunt, I really pray that everyone finds the perfect door to the future! To my granma, uncle, aunties and cousins in JB! Didn't forget you all lar, thanks for providing me a second home whenever I wanna escape Pulau NTU. Thanks for letting me Eat, Play, Sleep so well at your place haha. Really means a lot to a person who can't go home often :( 

And to my mom, it's your 受难日, thanks for tolerating this evil kid who always make you cry for 23 years. My dad, I know you don't say it, but thanks for pouring so much love and treating me like a princess through your actions. My brother, thanks for taking care of dad and mum while I'm away from home, and being the silently supportive figure on many little things, hope you realize your dreams soon! Just hope you three continue to stay healthy and be happy! 

Haizzz now wan see 背影 oso difficult...

Oh yeah, my way of celebrating 23rd hehe, uploaded a cover video for the first time! Can't say it's really a cover though, coz it's not a song that I can sing well haha, but more like just to use this song to share some motivational message to people around me. It's a song by Soda Green 苏打绿 named 你在烦恼什么 What's Trobuling You? Every line of the lyrics gave me so much motivation. I guess at 23, we are all entering a phase with lots of frustrations and challenges in life, just hope my friends can stay positive and live life with joy! 

From the song: 时间从来不回答，生命从来不喧哗, 就算只有片刻我也不害怕。

(Time passes without turning back, Life goes by without a sound. So do not fear if there's only one moment left.)

Year 3 at a glance

*Wrote this long time ago, but didn't have the time to compile the photos.Here it is, everything from the past academic year.* 

Seldom blog about my university days coz I was too caught up on trying to record down all my travels in Taiwan and Korea. Well my life is not just about traveling of course, just feel like my blog has too much of travel post, as if travel is the only thing I care about (okay I admit almost all the time it is haha). Hope you readers don't get the wrong idea that I'm just constantly traveling. I have a life you know haha, and it's actually quite an ordinary one but please bear with me :D

Guess I shall start off with last year's FOC!
It's the third time, and as usual it's still a bucketful of exhaustion but truckload of happiness! Still part of the main comm and it's great to be working with all the passionate people. Well though things aren't smooth sailing and there's some conflicts here and there, I guess the success is still the most important and fulfilling thing. Got to spend more time with my OG, but I guess I still act like a freshie haha, kinda shy to talk to everyone. Glad that most of the freshies are fun and friendly.

with the Maincomm Family

My OG Talos

Oh BTW!!! Did I tell you I was in a short film??
OMG now that I think of it, I just gave my Youtube debut to Tan Tek Wui, walaooooo!!!
I'm not the main character la of course, but it was still quite a fun experience, working with a bunch of friends. But I must say, filming a short clip is harder than i expected. It's tiring seriously, gotta apologize to my friends and the crew coz I was showing my tired and impatient face most of the time. Seriously salute actors now, it's really no easy job. The film is called Dream Catcher.


Then there's Earthlink camp again, where we went to Pulau Ubin. I guess it's one of the most kampung place in Singapore that you can find. Really looks like granpa's house :D Didn't get to explore the island though, hope I could be back again soon.

Few weeks later, decided to head back to SG again for two important events. First would be NTU Fest! My campaign from Earthlink was featured as one of the NTU projects to be showcased to all the public. Felt kinda proud tbh haha...though it's not some ultra-awesome campaign. There was music, food, games and the location was at The Promontory. Good times indeed.

My Campaign was featured as one of the NTU student projects! 

Went to SG Night Fest as well.

Second event was MSA's Merdeka Night. Well I guess it will be the last MSA event for me since I'm going into OFF mode already. I figured I might as well attend and enjoy with most of my friends around. :D

and then...I'm off to Taiwan!!

Well I guess I don't have to reiterate how much fun I had in Taiwan. But I guess I was just posting the travel part, and left out the actual LIFE over there. Well in short, the four months was one hell of a roller coaster ride. There were moments of joy, times of helplessness, days of fun and minutes of anger. I'm thinking of writing a post about Taiwan's life anyway. So just in short, it's the unfavorable times that made me truly treasure the happy memories made and the kind people that I've met from the bottom of my heart.

Back in NTU for Semester 2! Lemme post the photos first...

Catching up with the darlings after leaving them for 4 months. 

OMG can't believe we were champions for MSD's Dodgeball 

Thanks for the awesome teamwork guys!!

The long awaited FOC Maincomm retreat

great to be hanging out with the bunch again

Level 3 for Korean! Damnn it's not easy but we had a daebak sunsaengnim

Unnis and Dongsaengs from the class

with less CCA commitments, I thought life was gonna be easier. But damnnnnnnn.....reality kicks in and I found myself dreading over the word INTERNSHIP. Allow me to whine abit here T T I know there are many out there who are also facing this problem, and some of you might think I'm just being a cry baby. But hey, I just wanna say, it sucks when you just can't get what you want no matter who that person is. Everyone deserves to feel terrible about not getting what they want pls! And yep that's me :( I've been going to many interviews and damnnn there's just no offer given to me. Don't bother telling me why I didn't succeed, I know it well. But the feeling just feels terrible and you can't help but to doubt yourself. And I would be very honest, I genuinely believe that certain people are luckier. Btw I wanna apologize to some friends for saying that they are lucky. Now that I reflect on it, I think it's actually offensive. If you are one of them, hear me out hehe, I said you're lucky because I feel that I'm unlucky, but never have I felt that you guys don't deserve what you receive. So please don't feel offended. I'm truly happy for the opportunities you guys earned. I know my luck sucks, but never would I view your opportunities as being cheap, worthless or disrespectful. And to those who think I'm being whiny, well just let me whine la haha, I know I'm not the worst but still....just let me behsong haha...

Well I don't stand any chance at big corporates but was lucky enough to attend assessment center at LEGO. Awesome office and great experience in case solving. 

Anyways the time came to start my internship. Turns out it's not as smooth sailing as I thought it will be, but I'm glad I landed safely and the best part was definitely the journey. For those who think you can't learn much from an internship: No, even if it's not an internship you wanted, you will definitely still take away something that will definitely help you in the future. Tbh I wasn't expecting much from my internship, but now that I look back, there are definitely things that you can't experience or can't visualise through your textbook.

Awesome bunch at e27, rocking our world-class tech conference.

Fellow Interns weeeee

haiz I have so much to whine when it comes to the real world. Lots of frustration, but I guess you just have to accept it anyway. I know I can't get everything in my way in life, but it just sucks when 75% of it are not in your way. if it's just 50%, I would have felt much better righttttt...

I have a theory: when it comes to bad feelings, or Dis-Utility, The marginal Dis-Utility is increasing, unlike the usual rule of diminishing marginal returns. There's no upper limit of feeling terrible, really. (Unlike joy, you get what you want, but one person, can be only THAT happy.) Okay la I guess sure got people figured this out haha. Guess I'm too late to really experience this.

Anyways...I guess living life is also learning to accept rejection and failures. I'm over with the acceptance part, but now it puts me into another struggle...what can I do next? I swear year 3 is really a year of continuous cycle of encouraging yourself to dream big and doubting yourself the next moment.

Oh my....it's like a sharp stab into my rib every time I realize I have one more year in university. The past year was.... I wouldn't say perfectly awesome... but rather a very life-defining kinda year. It's like a year where someone just strongly smack you on the back and you had to suddenly grow up and act like an adult. Many things happened, many people passed by. Sometimes things are just so unacceptable that it's like I'm fighting with myself more than I'm disagreeing with others. Doubting myself is the worse part, but in the end, I guess I discovered more and learn to appreciate that everyone is essentially different, and so am I.

Anyways, (switches to the optimistic self) year 3 was still one hell of an awesome year. Still a happy girl with a bunch of memories :D