LOL I know I shouldn't be blogging now.. But I just feel like sharing a thought that I had after studying my chemistry text book. Well it's definitely not an entirely new thought. It's just that I finally understand the idea behind that thought. I always hear people saying, "You need chemistry in a relationship." Well I do know what that means, but I never think about it deeply. So I was reading about collision theory, and I think I kind of understand what the statement really means, well at least what I think it is.
Basically, here's what I think...
Relationships and friendships will only work if there's an reaction. Just Like Chemistry.
But for a reaction to happen. In chem terms : Two particles have to come close and closer until they meet in the correct orientation with sufficient energy that can overcome the Activation energy. Then reaction will occur.
Well I think relationships work the same way too. Not just guy-girl relationships, in fact Friendships are more likely to work in this way.
Why? Coz basically, two complete strangers, somehow they get to come closer and closer. They start to know and learn about each other. And then, it will come to a point where they learn everything about each other, their positive sides, their weakness, their most beautiful attributes, and also their worst flaws......
At that point, they will decide, or maybe one side will decide. Do they really want a friend like that?? Do they have enough trust, love and also endurance (Activation Energy) to accept this person just the way he/she is?
And also an important thing, If the two didn't meet at the correct timing and the correct way. (Orientation) Chances are, they might have only seen the flaws, but not the beauty of the person.
It's only if they could really accept the other person the way he/she is, that a long lasting bond of friendship will be formed. If not, just like particles, they simply bounce off....nothing happens, no one is changed.
So yea, after thinking about all this. I realize something about myself. I always wanted to make friends, but at the same time I have this fear of getting closer to people. Because this also means that people are getting closer to you, and start to learn more about you. So yea, I'm afraid that, once they discover all my flaws, they would just leave me. Well I can totally understand if they really leave, because I know not all people can tolerate with people like me. But still, you can't help but to feel very sad if that happens. So sometimes I rather people just stay away from me, than come close and finally bounce off, like nothing happened. But I always have my hope, hoping that, the person will not just look at my flaws but also see my good sides, not that I have many, but still, I hope they could accept me just the way I am.
I know I have loads, i repeat, LOADS of flaws. I tried to change. I know this sounds like a kid trying to give an excuse for always not doing homework. But really, I tried. Sometimes, if I changed, I feel like I'm not myself anymore, and it sucks coz you tried so hard but at the end you're not happy. And I really do think that certain things in a person cant really be changed. Like how some people always speak the best out of them, but certain people just find it hard to say the right thing. Like how some people can always make others happy, but some always express themselves in the wrong way where they didn't mean to.
By the way I'm not saying this because I want the WHOLE WORLD TO UNDERSTAND ME AND ACCEPT ME. I just wrote this to tell myself to always learn to be a better person in this world, a better friend that could help, a friend that is worth having, a friend that can be count on.
I'm not trying to be emo here. Not at all! It's just a thought I have. and I'm always optimistic about things. Like I said, I always have hopes and always trying to make myself better. It's not gonna be easy... I hope that I could be a better person, better at accepting others, better at seeing the best out of a person. So that hopefully, people would look at me the same way. :)
Friends are always precious. That's a thought that I will never change.
well is not an emo post but i think the only label that i can put is EMO lol!